The Night of St. Krampus
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T'was the night of St. Krampus and all through the House,
Representatives were quaking, each being a louse. |
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The payoffs had been given with judicious care,
forgetting that St. Krampus would soon be there. Senators nestled all snug with mistresses in beds. Visions of grandeur danced through their heads Barak's making rap and I in financial pain, have resigned our brains for long Presidential campaign. When from the feeds of Facebook came such a clatter, I sprang to my flat screen to what's the matter. Clicking on click bait I clicked like a flash. Tore open news feeds to read the sad mash. The Don on the breast of new news cycle, so gave the taint of bigotry to the campaign show. When to my tearing eyes did appear, but a miniature Bern and eight Hillaries dear. With a horrid master, pointed horns and tongue so thick I knew in a moment this must be Krampus, that ogre dick. More rapid than eagles the reporters they came. Off his slithering tongue, Krampus knew them by name "Now Bernie! Now Hillary! Now Don and Ted Cruz! On CNN! On Fox! On MSNBC make sour news! To the heights of mendacity, and flagrant gall lie away, lie away, lie away all." So with the fervency on which all gossip flies when it meets the public's yearning for grand lies. To the House and Senate they all flew Taking a sleigh of deserved pain and Krampus too With the sound of piss on the snow, all truth went kapoof The fingers of blame pointing to some other goof. I clicked and clicked until my eyes spun around, seeking viral videos of Krampus's vengeance abound He lashed out with his tongue from his head to his foot, slashing to taste campaign rhetoric so dishonestly put With a bundle of pain he'd flung on his back, Krampus looked like Lucifer whacked out on crack. His eyes burned with anger, his tongue so scary His horns were so pointed to make Senators wary His sinister mouth drawn up like a bow The gleam in his eyes promised of anguish he'd sow. The gash of his smile revealed sharpened teeth for the bad Legislators, the shredding he'd bequeath He had a pointed face and thin belly. His laugh rendered the spines of the corrupt into jelly He was thin and emaciated, right evil old elf But when I saw him I laughed in spite of myself. For the fire in his eye and the cock of his head, promised what the one percent should dread He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work and snapped up the wallets of graft with a jerk?. Between thumb forefinger he tweaked each one's nose "This money's not yours, to the poor it sure goes." Taking portfolios, he gave prosecutors a whistle "Charge these folks with crimes, this is my epistle" But I heard him say as all video faded from sight. "Remember this Christmas to always do right!" |
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